Re-entering the dating game is intimidating for anyone, and especially so if you’re a single parent. As the number of divorces in America rise, so do the number of single moms dating, and from their experiences comes a lot of good advice. However well you friends mean, don’t let them pressure you into dating, or re-marrying before you’re ready. It’s your life and dating will impact your children. You are the only one who can decide the rules.
Things To Keep In Mind As A Single Mom Dating:
- It’s okay if you feeling guilty at first. Getting back into the dating scene is a new situation for all of you, and will take some getting used to. Try to avoid talking all night about your kids as a way of coping with your self-reproach. Instead, spend a couple minutes in conversation about them, and then give yourself permission to enjoy the rest of the evening.
- You know how easily attached your child can become attached to a toy or friend, and how quickly the tears come when it’s gone. Avoid introducing your kids to every guy you date. Save the meet-n-greet for the guy that really counts. Also, don’t be surprised if you face resistance from your kids. You can’t force them to like your beau, but neither should you let them control your decisions.
- Remember your priorities. While it’s tempting to become wrapped up in a new love affair, your children need to know that they’re still your top priority. At the same time, having children can be a pretty good excuse to avoid building any intimacy with a partner, and it’s always easy to say: “I wish I could, but…” It’s a fine line to walk, but then again, you’re a mother. You’re used to juggling eight things at once.
- Refrain from bringing your boyfriend in on parenting duties too early. Give both of you enough time to feel the relationship out. When he starts volunteering to pick the kids up from soccer, and you’re okay with it, then give it a go.
- Lastly, keep things honest with your kids. When they start asking questions about the man who stayed over last night, be discreet, but forthcoming. Explain briefly in an age-appropriate manner. Sneaking around or lying, though it might seem like you’re protecting them, will only encourage the same behavior when they’re older.
As a single mom dating, you also have an invaluable resource: other single moms. Making friends with other single moms on the dating scene will give you an understanding ear when it comes time to navigate trickier waters.
